A Victim tells all.. a MUST read

Emailed to us by a fan… in response to this interview

A young woman, still really a girl  in Machon Chana learns more about Yiddishkeit. She decided ‘to live her life as a frum Jew’. She went out and started wearing skirts. She covered her elbows. She covered her knees. She started lighting Shabbos candles Friday night. The first few weeks, her cell phone beeps and she ‘forgets’. She checks her text messages. She updates her facebook status. She doesn’t know what to think/do. She calls her mashpia/teacher/mentor (whichever she has). She cries to them “I’m trying but some things are so hard to remember”. this person doesnt yell at her ‘how dare you?!?’ NO! She pulled her lovingly in her arms, gave her a hug and told her “you are doing an amazing job, you have come so far. Hashem understands that we are human and that we make mistakes.” So the girl, feeling a little better about herself smiles and charged onward.

fast forward a year or two.

This same girl, now a young woman, went out with a guy. its a shidduch, friends suggestion. The stars are all aligned, Mazel Tov. This woman gets married al pi torah b’chuppa ukiddushin.
Think of how proud the Rebbe is, looking down at this young couple, coming from nowhere and now starting a Jewish home.

Lets fast forward a little bit.

Growing up, she never knew of taharas hamishpacha or anything of the sort. 2 beds? really? Separate cutlery for meat and dairy? However, this young couple takes it all in and they try their hardest to make it work.
Mazel Tov! They bring a child in to the world. They explain to their parents that they’ll  wait for an aliya to name their daughter. Now a few years later, their child enters school.

So this woman:
she looks frum
she talks frum
she acts frum
she covers her knees
she covers her elbows
she doesn’t wear gaping shirts
she doesn’t even wear open toed sandals
There’s only one thing, you see, they don’t have a lot of money. Tuition in our local schools is not cheap. She only has one shaitel.
Today is Tuesday, tomorrow night, her roommate from Machon Chana, the shoulders she cried on, the person who’s like a sister to her, finally met her bashert and is getting married. She splurges. She takes her shaitel to get done. She can’t afford a gown so she borrows one from a gemach. Oh no! Her childs school called. S/He just threw up. She needs to go pick them up straight away. She grabs her purse and keys and walks over to the school. In the hallway, the principal gives her a speech about how they ask their students parents to wear a shaitel at all times as this is the chinuch they are trying to give the kids. She confides in the principal “I have one shaitel, its getting cleaned as I have a wedding tomorrow night. My child is sick, I need to take him/her to the doctor.” The principals response “Tell your husband to get you another shaitel”.
The woman leaves bewildered. She goes to the doctors office and goes about her day. A few days later,
a letter comes in the mail. It has a return address of an almost completely vacant building. It tells her, she should be ashamed of herself for not wearing a shaitel in the Rebbe’s shechuna. A kollel yungerman, living off the community; starts a smear campaign against her.

Not knowing her personal history, not knowing what happened that day, not even knowing if she was in fact picking up her child or was she maybe just wearing a kerchief on her head to hide her baldness as she is in the midst of undergoing chemotherapy.
Do you really think this is what the Rebbe wants?
Go talk yourself in that the Rebbe is against people who have come so far from having tv’s or reading non jewish magazines.

Go talk yourself in that the rebbe wants you to badmouth people instead of treating them with love and respect.

Have you truly tried to speak to these people mit an emeskeit instead of just spewing your hate and telling them that it’s your way or the highway?
Will you next go to the drugstores and demand they stop selling condoms? Do you really think that will stop the premarital sex?
Do you really think you’ll make a difference in this way?

Now go try asking the same store owners to maybe put such items behind the counter. Let’s not kid ourselves. If a grown woman wants to read Maxim, her local store not having it will not stop her. Maybe ask the store to not have it on display. Explain your reasons. Explain to your local stores that selling chalav akum is not helping the community grow beruchnias.

Hatred will get you nowhere in life.

Lubavitch is about Kiruv. Let’s start in our own backyard.
So some people aren’t dressed tzniusly for whatever reason it is, so what?
is the way the Rebbe taught us to badmouth them and embarrass them in public? Is the way the Rebbe taught us to shame someone?
So you say the problems start at home and at school.
Let’s talk about the home first.
Many of us, are not necessarily frum from birth and of the ones who are, quite a few have gone off and back on the derech. The fact that I want to watch tv at home does not make me less of a Chossid than you. The fact that I allow my children to watch tv, (be it right or wrong) is not your business. In Israel, I remember going on mivtzoim and hearing from the people I’d ask to put Tefillin on, “Ani Daati Balev”. We do what we can do. If the Rebbe was physically here today, do you think he would tell me ‘I don’t want you as a chossid cause you watch tv’? He would say ‘Thank you for doing what you do. I know what you went thru and I appreciate where you’ve been. With time I am sure you will continue to grow beruchnias’.

Signed: This ladies Proud Husband


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4 responses to “A Victim tells all.. a MUST read

  • fakewood

    did you present this story to sbm?

  • fakewood

    as for taking your shaitel to get done they will usually provides you with a loaner.

  • Mottel

    Would you be able to publish the letter – with the names removed to hide your anonymity if you so wish – so that the general public can see the hypocrisy and hate this yungerman stands for?

  • anon

    if the women was dressed tznius to the T just without a shaitel then any any discerning individual would realize that it not a usual thing for this women. the thing is that most cases are not like this. its like the story in the gemorah that an amorah saw a women dressed un-tznius (wearing red) and he ripped her clothes off in the end she turned out not to be jewish and he had to pay a fine but it was worth it even though there might be mistakes sometimes.

    ps if you decide to watch tv at home then know that you are doing somthing wrong and are not chassidish. the problem is we start convincing ourselves….

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